Yahoo Life Videos
Mia Khalifa's public identity has long been associated with her body after she appeared in a p*rnhub video in 2014 and became the most viewed actress on the site. After speaking out about the trauma that she experienced as a result and how she's working to move forward in her life, the 29-year-old is reclaiming her body and her relationship with it through her latest work with Playboy Centerfold.
Khalifa shares her complicated history with Yahoo Life, explaining just how her body impacted her self-worth throughout her upbringing. It also made her feel more distant from her American classmates when she immigrated from Lebanon as a child and allowed her to seek attention by other means.
"I grew up very overweight and I didn’t start losing weight until I was like 18, 19, 20," she says. "It made me insecure, it made me act hypersexual when the opportunity presented itself. Also, [I was] constantly craving validation."
She recalls looking for attention from men specifically as a means to feel good about herself at her lowest moments. "I did not feel good about myself so I just let anyone have access to it," she recalls. "I only thought that I was worthy of just existing when someone else desired me or seemingly desired me."
Video Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MIA KHALIFA: Part of me worries about today's generation with the whole Facetune era, all of the plastic surgery being pushed on them. But another part of me just also sees the positive side of that, which is more conversations around body positivity and acceptance, and better relationship with-- with food and yourself.
KERRY JUSTICH: Today, I'm chatting with internet personality and model Mia Khalifa about her journey with body image and how she's reclaiming hers with Playboy Centerfold.
What would you say your relationship with your body is like today?
MIA KHALIFA: I grew up very overweight, and I didn't start losing weight until I was, like, 18, 19, 20. I love my imperfections. I feel like I've done the body modifications that I've wanted for a long time and thought hard on. I'm happy. I like it way I'm aging. I like the way I'm growing. I like the way I'm fluctuating.
KERRY JUSTICH: You also were an immigrant child living in DC and had not the greatest experience with fitting in and feeling comfortable in yourself. How would you say that that-- being uncomfortable in your body and working through that-- how did that shape you?
MIA KHALIFA: It made me insecure. It made me act hypersexual when the opportunity presented itself. Also, constantly craving validations. I did not feel good about myself, so I just let anyone have access to it. I only thought that I was worthy of just existing when someone else desired me, or seemingly desired me. My relationship with my body didn't start getting good until I started getting old enough. I think that's what really makes the difference, just getting older and realizing what matters and what doesn't.
KERRY JUSTICH: And then of course, you know, your experience in the adult film industry was short-lived what. Impact would you say that had on your relationship with your body and your self-worth?
MIA KHALIFA: It just sunk me into a depression and it sunk me into a spiral of shame. I still didn't have the confidence to really take claim over my body. Maneuvering my way around the contradiction of-- of feeling like I was powerless when-- when I was in that time of my life versus doing it now, in a completely different way, it really comes down to my confidence.
The difference is now, it is all for me. The only thing that gets shown to the public or goes out into the public sphere is something that makes me feel empowered, or sexy, or confident, or comfortable.
KERRY JUSTICH: So how would you say that you, like, overcame that fear of-- of even putting your body out there again?
MIA KHALIFA: I wouldn't say that I necessarily overcame my fear of putting-- of putting my body out there. What I would say is the circ*mstances behind how it was happening became more in my control.
My favorite part about what I'm doing now with Centerfold is that I plan everything. I decide what I wear. I decide what photos are taken. I decide everything-- everything, down to every little tiny detail. And that's what makes it fun, and that's what makes it empowering.
I hope that the one thing that others learn from me is it is not a death sentence. You can do whatever you want, whatever you want. And as long as you ignore all of the voices telling you you can't, literally nothing is stopping you.
