Published in · 6 min read · Aug 7, 2019
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We’ve all experienced that sinking feeling before. A notification pops up on your phone that someone tagged you in a photo, and you have absolutely no idea what this photo could be. You unlock your phone to check the notification you just received, nervously awaiting what you will find. Your worst fears are realized when you see that your best friend from college has just shared an embarrassing and compromising photo of you on Facebook with 1,500 of her “closest friends.” You are left feeling hopeless, after all, how can you control what your friends post? We’ve all been there- whether it was a picture of us partying that we didn’t want a future employer to see or a picture with an ex that we didn’t want our current partner to see, it feels violating when someone posts a picture of you without your permission. However, instead of letting this post ruin your reputation and invade your privacy, there are steps you can take to remedy this situation. We’ve compiled some of the best solutions below, including both proactive and reactive measures.
1. Establish guidelines with your friends and family about posting pictures of each other on social media.
In today’s era, it is very important to have open conversations about internet privacy with people who are close to you. People have a wide array of preferences when it comes to social media, and it is crucial to share these preferences with friends and family. Therefore, if a situation ever arose in which a friend or family member posted a photo of you that you didn’t want on the internet, you could reach out and ask them to delete the post from their account without any issue.
An excellent example of this practice in action can be seen with Gwyneth Paltrow and her daughter. Back in March, Paltrow posted a selfie on Instagram of her and her daughter Apple, then 14, skiing. The post exploded in controversy after Apple left a comment on the post reading “Mom we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent.” Gwyneth responded publicly on Instagram to her daughter, writing “@applemartin You can’t even see your face!” Since it seems as though the pair had discussed sharing photos of Apple on social media, many saw this as an extreme violation of privacy by Gwyneth. Although the comments are no longer on the post, the post remains on Instagram.
Fast forward to May when Gwenyth shared a picture of Apple to her Instagram feed in celebration of her 15th birthday. Along with the picture, the post included screenshots of texts between Apple and Gwenyth. Apple writes “Also here are some options of apple approved birthday posts,” and Gwenyth responds “Oh why thank you. Don’t need to break the old Internet again, now do we?” The progression from the previous post of Apple to this one really demonstrates the mutual understanding and respect that has been cultivated by this mother-daughter duo, something all families should strive for.
2. Review your current privacy settings on Instagram and Facebook and update them as you see fit.
On both Instagram and Facebook, there is a setting that allows you to approve posts that you are tagged in before they show up on your profile. On Facebook, go to “settings” → “timeline and tagging.” Here you can control who sees posts you are tagged in and review these posts before they show up on your timeline. If you choose not to review posts you’re tagged in first, your friends will see any posts you are tagged from their own accounts, even if they are not friends with the person who posted the photo. If an embarrassing photo is posted of you, even if you get the person to remove the photo later, damage may already be done by the time you see the post. Therefore, it is wise to change your Facebook settings to make sure you have the opportunity to review posts you’re tagged in first.
Instagram operates a bit differently than Facebook, as users only see the posts of other users that they follow in their feed. This actually makes privacy harder to control than Facebook. Although there is a setting to review posts that you’re tagged in before they are shown on your profile, the picture itself will still be seen in everyone’s feed, just without the tag. Since the main feature of Instagram is the feed, it may not be enough to just hide the post from your profile, although this certainly can help. To turn on this setting in Instagram, go to “settings” → “privacy” → “tags” and turn off the button that says “add automatically.” When you enable this setting, any posts that you are tagged in will automatically be hidden from your profile, and you must manually add them to your profile if you want the post to reside there.
3. Untag yourself from the post
For users who find themselves in this situation who didn’t have the settings discussed above turned on, it is still possible to untag yourself from a post on both Facebook and Instagram after it has already been shared.
On Facebook, there are three dots in the upper righthand corner of every post on your timeline. If you click these dots, you have the option to “remove tag” or “hide post from timeline.” If you hide the post from your timeline, it will not show up in your profile, however the tag will still exist on Facebook, on the profile of the original user who created the post. Removing the tag all together is a more comprehensive option, so this is recommended for Facebook.
On Instagram, head to your profile and click the icon of a person in a square to see the posts you are tagged in. Once you have selected the photo that you wish to untag yourself from, click on the actual tag of your handle, which will prompt you with options “remove me from post” or “hide from my profile.” Similar to Facebook, removing yourself from the post is a more comprehensive option as it ensures that the tag no longer lives on Instagram, as opposed to just hiding the post from your timeline.
4. Report the post
If all else fails, or the above options aren’t enough for you, it is always possible to report posts on both Facebook and Instagram, although this option is certainly not the most effective. Again on Facebook, click on the three dots in the upper righthand corner of the post, and there is an option to report the post. You are able to select the reasons why you are reporting the post, while also providing an option to block the user whose post you are reporting. Keep in mind that reporting a post may not necessarily ensure the optimal outcome, as Facebook may decide not to delete the post.
You are able to report posts in a similar fashion on Instagram. In the upper righthand corner of all Instagram posts there are also three dots. To report a post, click on these dots and click “report post.” If you are reporting the post because it is inappropriate, Instagram will allow you to select why. Again, the outcome may not be as desired when you report a post. Asking the user themselves to take down the post is always the most direct and effective method on both Facebook and Instagram.
While social media can be a great tool to keep people connected and share moments and achievements with loved ones, it can also be a harmful medium that can easily destroy reputations and relationships in seconds. Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone posts an embarrassing picture of you without your consent, we hope you feel empowered to take your privacy into your own hands.
Interested in taking control of your online privacy? Download MyPrivacy today to get started.
